Quotable Quote:
Finally, you can list all your quotes by visiting http://myblog.com/b2quotes.php?showAllQuotes=1
I added this to my template so people could read all the quotes if they want.
*/
$quotes = array();
$authors = array();
$quotes[] = "Extremely Cute Exploding Puppies—your enemies will never know what hit them. It might be easier for me to laugh at that if my father hadn't died that way.";
$authors[] = 'Craig Kilborn';
$quotes[] = "...Monty Python's Flying Circus. I've seen the tapes, and boy, does it suck. It's strange rather than funny. Five limeys and a Yank. No girls: they did drag. Typical Brits. They're never happier than when dressing up as women. What is it with them?";
$authors[] = 'Eric Idle';
$quotes[] = "Don't yell at her, Daddy. She's not mommy.";
$authors[] = "Eric Idle";
$quotes[] = "Brenda was dressed as a cross between the Virgin Mary and Virginia Woolf. Not an easy mix.";
$authors[] = "Eric Idle";
$quotes[] = "Comedy is at the subatomic level behind everything. Everywhere. May the farce be with you.";
$authors[] = "Eric Idle";
$quotes[] = '"Does God have a sense of humor?"
"Well He does move in a mysterious way, but I\'m not sure it\'s supposed to be a funny walk."';
$authors[] = "Eric Idle";
$quotes[] = "I saw a headline on the newspaper today: \"Horrific Rape in Alley\", or something. I was like \"Is there any other kind of rape?\" \"HILARIOUS RAPE AS CLOWN SODOMIZED!\"";
$authors[] = '<slime>';
$quotes[] = "hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.";
$authors[] = "<erno>";
$quotes[] = "i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet";
$authors[] = "<[SA]HatfulOfHollow>";
$quotes[] = "The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?";
$authors[] = "<xterm>";
$quotes[] = "AFK, tornado";
$authors[] = "<Zanthis(ALE)>";
$quotes[] = "i beat the internet...the end guy is hard";
$authors[] = "<BombScare>";
$quotes[] = "I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.";
$authors[] = "<Night-hen-gayle>";
$quotes[] = "i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file";
$authors[] = "<Opcode>";
$quotes[] = "i remember new years eve, 2000, everyone had their computers off because they were afraid they would blow up cause of y2k, and my boyfriend was begging me to have sex with him. and i was like \"look at my ping! i am not going to get a 70 ping any other night! go watch tv and stop interrupting my tribes!!\"";
$authors[] = "<Kristi>";
$quotes[] = "...and everyone knows if you wear underwear you are not a tramp.";
$authors[] = "Elsie";
$quotes[] = "All of my friends men and women are obsessed with my boobs, so I apease them and dress like a tramp.";
$authors[] = "Elsie";
$quotes[] = 'Woo canadian TV rules. NUDITY! I need to get out more.';
$authors[] = 'Alex';
$quotes[] = 'Teacher, what does "Hoochie mammas! Shake those nanna\'s!" mean?';
$authors[] = 'Chinese English Student';
$quotes[] = "It takes a great man to admit he is wrong, but it takes a greater man to sit on that other man and beat the hell out of him.";
$authors[] = '';
$quotes[] = "God may be on your side, but Lady Luck's my bitch.";
$authors[] = 'Just Shoot Me';
$quotes[] = "Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance." ;
$authors[] = "Sam Brown";
$quotes[] = "For a vegetarian, Rents, you're a fucking evil shot.";
$authors[] = 'Sick Boy, Trainspotting';
$quotes[] = 'Drink! It\'s ok if you\'re allergic to beer - I have allergy medicine.';
$authors[] = 'Adam';
$quotes[] = 'We\'re too old now... man what it was like to be 16 ... hehehe wait... I don\'t miss that at all!! The voice cracking, puberity crap! And the afraid to dance within 2 feet of a girl... screw that.. I\'m much happier with the 21 yr old me who gets some and has a car!';
$authors[] = 'Anon';
$quotes[] = 'How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand... ';
$authors[] = '';
function showQuote()
{
global $quotes, $authors;
srand(make_seed());
$int = rand (0, count($quotes) -1);
echo $quotes[$int];
echo '-'.$authors[$int].'
';
}
function make_seed() {
list($usec, $sec) = explode(' ', microtime());
return (float) $sec + ((float) $usec * 100000);
}
if ($showAllQuotes)
{
?>
Quotations Listing
';
echo $quotes[$i];
echo '-'.$authors[$i].'
';
echo '
';
}
echo '';
}
?>